Precious Illusions
by Nadja Lee
Summary: Rogue talks with Scott about illusions, dreams, love, Logan and the real world.


Precious Illusions

By Nadja Lee 27/07/02

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.

Universe: Set in the movie universe.

Romance: Rogue/Logan, Logan/Jean, Jean/Scott

Summary: Rogue talks with Scott about illusions, dreams, love, Logan and the real world.

Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com

Rating: PG

Sequel/series: None

Thanks so much to Karen for the Beta.

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He didn't offer to take you with him when you two first met

You can't go by that. He's a very closed person; he's actually quite shy. He was just afraid I'd hurt him; after all he didn't know me then. He had been through so much; he had hurt so much…of course he'd be afraid I'd do the same. Had I been in real trouble he would have helped me. He's like that, y'know. He helps people in trouble. No, you can't go by that. 

He almost left you standing on the road

He was angry because I hadn't asked to ride with him, he felt like I was invading his privacy. That's natural. He was still skeptical of me, he didn't know me and he knew I knew he was a mutant. He didn't know how I'd react to that. He was just afraid of getting hurt or set up, that's natural with a man who has been through so much.

Besides the key word here is 'almost'. He didn't leave me and that's what matters. He cared for me, asked if I was cold and hungry. No, you can't go by that.

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Do you think the nickname 'kid' was just for fun?

Both yes and no. He means it affectionately, because he likes me. He only nicknames people he likes…well, almost only. 

Look, he's a very old man, but compared to him everyone is a kid. Besides he means it affectionately because he cares for me. No, you can't go by that.

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He's way, way older than you

So? He's way older than everyone. The only woman who'll be his age would be a vampire and I haven't seen too many of those lately.

Besides I do recall a certain doctor and teacher I know who has some ten years age difference so I hardly think that argument is valid. No, you can't go by that.

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She's quite taken with you…my heart belongs to someone else. Ring any bells?

So he flirts. Every man does. Of course he'll find Jean attractive…who wouldn't? She is beautiful but that's all it is. It's hormones and physical attraction. I haven't seen him get all worked up over her being hurt or missing. No, you can't go by that.

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Tall, red-haired woman…seduction, attraction…..doesn't mean anything?

Not really. She's been claimed by another, as well you know and stop looking at me like that, and if that's not enough for her to keep her hands to herself then she should break it off with you first. And yes, maybe they both like to flirt and play but that's all for both of them. It's a game where they both know the farthest they'll ever get is a kiss. 

Don't look at me like that. I'm not alone in this, y'know. Of course it hurts me that he does this, as it must hurt you that she does it. What can we do? We love them and therefore we have to give them space and hope they'll stop their game some day. No, you can't go by that. 

I'll take care of you….like you do a kid

No, not like a child. He calls me kid but he means it affectionately. He has deep feelings for me. He wants to take care of me like a man does a woman. 

Don't shake your head at me, mister. Okay, so he didn't say how he wanted to take care of me…like a child or a woman but who was there? You or me? He even kissed my hair. Okay…so you've done so as well after he left when I've been sad but you're like…I don't know, my big brother or something. This was different. No, you can't go by that. 

He has a foul mouth and worse manners

Yeah, well….he's a fighter and a warrior above anything else. Besides I've heard your curses, sugah and they could almost make Logan blush. Besides, I don't see you sitting in church every Sunday either. You're no saint yourself so don't pretend to be. No, you can't go by that. Why do you hate him so much anyway?

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I don't hate him. I admire his skills and I'm forever grateful to him for having saved you and the others. I guess…

I know. The whole Jean thing. Green really isn't your color, sugah. She loves you, not him. Try and believe more in yourself. I love him; it's as simple as that.

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But he doesn't love you like you wish him to

Maybe not but I choose to think he does. I think he does. Isn't this like discussion whether or not God exists? You can't prove He does, you can't disprove it either. Neither you nor I know his true feelings. I choose to believe in love….why can't you? Don't always be so sad, so dark. Sometimes good things really do happen to good people. So, you can't go by that.

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*Sighs* Is there anything that would change your mind?

No. You can't change a heart when it's set. Could you stop loving Jean? I thought not. A heart is a strange thing…it's so small yet it controls our every action.

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I just….don't want to see you hurt

I know you don't and I know that was why we talked about this. I know you mean well, I know you want to protect me but don't you see? He wants to protect me too. He has always been good to me and I believe he'll continue to be. In your heart you're not really afraid he'll hurt me.

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No, just that he'll break your heart….and your dreams

Ooh, sugah…*_a big hug* _ There, all better? See, you can smile. You're actually quite handsome when you smile. 

Okay, okay. Sugah, he'll not break my heart and even if he does, it's my heart to break. I can't control who I give my heart to, it just happens. I know you've had it hard and I'm so sorry for that. I wish I could make all your pain go away but I can't. Instead please believe in me…I can take care of myself and if not I know you'll always be there for me.

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Always

Friend, brother *and* protector…some jobs you have, sugah.

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*Smiles softly* Then go…..go on now….and enjoy your illusions

Illusions? Maybe they are but I believe in them and maybe, if I believe strongly enough that will be all I need.

Illusions…that's all they are but then keep them because I of all people know how precious and fragile they truly are. 

Not those dark thoughts again, sugah. _*Smile*_…come on. See? I saw a smile. A small one but it was there.

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*small smile* Enjoy your illusions while your can…mine broke long ago and I'll never wish that on you.

Such pain in your voice….One day I'll make you tell me everything. One day when you're ready.

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Remember though that illusions live best hidden from view…the real world isn't a good place for illusions

That's right…if illusions are all they'll ever be but I intend to make them real, as real as daylight.

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Precious illusions….how I do envy you the ability to still dream. So, go on ...and dream

No one should ever lose the ability to dream, to create a world of their own. I know you haven't lost the ability to do so but the world you have made for yourself is just the opposite of mine. The world I create is light, warm and filled with love. The one you've made…is dark, lonely and isolated. Don't give up on bright dreams no matter how hopeless things seem.

The day I marry the man I love, the man I've married tons of times in my dreams…the day you follow me up the aisle and Logan stands as my groom…that day I swear to you; that day I've proved that dreams come true and illusions can become reality.

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Then the day I follow you up the aisle and Logan is the one waiting for you…that day I'll promise to only dream bright thoughts of make believe but until then…until then the real world is where I live and here everything is dark and lonely.

The End 


End file.
